All in Personal Codes
There’s a tendency we all have to try and ride out a tough spell or a difficult challenge. To try and just “get to the other side”, mentally, at least, even if you have to physically go through the motions.
Thing is, that’s a passive strategy. One that intends to remove us from the reality of the situation and the challenge of the actual battle.
So much of my youth was spent constructing who I wanted to be, my sense of self. With that came the confidence to do the things I needed to do, in order to be what I defined as successful.
But with it also came a series of behaviors (facades? Personas? ) that were designed to protect me from getting hurt, personally or professionally. I was conscious that…
Seth Godin recently wrote about how bitterness is consistent and impenetrable. If you let it, it can become “a wall you can lean against, whenever you choose”.
That resonated with me, as I’m sure it does with many of us. When we’ve been wronged (perceived or otherwise), it provides us with a point or direction towards which we can channel our emotions, most notably our anger.
The Greek-Armenian philosopher, George Gurdjieff, believed that we are born without a soul and that our life goal is to grow and develop our soul - our souls are earned.
"Success isn't determined by how many times you win, but by how you play the week after you lose."
-- Pele
As we kick off 2023, our thoughts naturally turn to new beginnings and starting afresh.
If you’re at all into football (soccer), you’ll no doubt have watched the World Cup Final yesterday.
It was, in my view, the greatest world cup final in history - with goals, drama, late comebacks and ultimately, penalties. Argentina were amazing winners and, of course, as everyone’s talking about, Lionel Messi got his World Cup, rounding out one of the most storied careers in the history of the sport.
Social media provides us with a very specific idea of what "the" life is. There's no shortage of influencers who showcase how glamorous their everyday life is.
But before we get caught up, it's worth understanding that what we see is what we're shown, as I discuss in today's episode.
In last Friday’s post, I talked about the need to accept the duality in those around us, from those we live and work with on a daily basis to those we see periodically (for example, friends and relatives during the holidays).
Here, in the US, this is the season of Thanksgiving and it’s a wonderful time to remember who and what we should all be grateful for (putting aside the fact that giving thanks should be a daily activity).
When doing so, though, one of the things that we tend to struggle with is the duality and contradiction of so much in our daily existence.
Structure, rules and constructs can be useful mechanisms and when we're growing up, they're usually unavoidable.
At the same time, they can be both good and bad and, as we grow older, it's worth questioning many of them. Both in terms of what they mean for us but also, as importantly, what they mean for others we live and work with.
Carl Jung said that the greatest tragedy for any child is the unlived life of his parents.
I don’t know if there are many of us who haven’t been impacted by those words, in one way or another. Whether it’s related to what we do for a living, to how we behave with others, to who we associate and spend time with.
In ancient times, when a Roman general achieved success and marched through the streets of Rome in triumph, an auriga (a slave) was appointed to walk behind him and every so often, whisper in his ear, “Memento Homo”.
Remember, you are only a man.
I love actual, physical books. Mostly non-fiction, sometimes fiction as well.
I love not only the content in the books I buy, but I love how it feels in my hand, even how it smells. It’s a rare, almost nonexistent thing now, but I love walking through a bookstore, discovering new and interesting titles across all sorts of genres. That process of discovery is (was) one of the best things ever.
In today's episode, I tackle my own personal prejudice with the drum machine, specifically via a song from the artist, The Weeknd.
It's a reminder that how we assess value isn't always objective but perhaps colored by years of conditioning, that often turns out to be wrong.
Character trumps content. Always.
If I have to choose between two individuals - one fully versed in their line of work but untrustworthy, and the other who is less than well versed but trustworthy, I’ll go with the latter person every single time.
While I’m not a “gamer” in any real sense of the word, there is one that I downloaded on my phone years ago and play when I have some downtime. It’s called Wordscapes and involves rearranging a set of scrambled letters into words in a crossword-like fashion.
I’ve played it enough that I’m now at Level 2,744.
Whenever I go to Karachi, I'm amazed by how the city functions and how people go about their daily lives, especially when so much we take for granted in the west, just doesn't exist in the same way over there.
But, as I discuss in today's episode, people get on with things. They live their lives. Because it isn't just about what's around us and the way things are, it's about our own will.
If you’re going to make the time and incur the expense of attending a trade conference, it’s worth trying to actually learn something while you’re there.
I was at just such a conference recently and sat down to listen to a talk. A few minutes before the start of the session, a couple of men sat behind me and immediately launched into a conversation amongst themselves.
A short (and late) one today given other commitments - but I did want to share something I heard that really resonated with me.
I was watching the HBO show “Ballers” which stars Dwayne Johnson (The Rock) and in Season 5, he talks about how he thinks about living life, making decisions and moving forward.
