Building Trust

Photo by NOTAVANDAL on Unsplash

We believe - with good intent - that we’re trusting individuals. That’s important, because trust forms the very foundation of our relationships. Without trust, there can be no relationships, in any environment, personal or professional.  

But how do we build trust? What’s our specific role in developing trust among our colleagues (or our family)? 

Of course, we also like to say that trust isn’t something that is simply given. Those around us must earn our trust and, only if they do, are they deserving of it. And even when we do give trust, we do it tentatively. And at the first sign of an issue, we withdraw it. 

The question to ask ourselves is, are we doing everything we need to, to ensure that trust serves as the foundation for how we engage with each other? Meaning that part of that responsibility lies squarely with us, in considering the development of the overall team.

In his book, Sacred Hoops, Phil Jackson quotes Bill Cartwright (3 time NBA Champion with the Chicago Bulls) as saying:

“I’ve seen teams in this league  where the players don’t pass to a guy because they don’t think he’s going to catch the ball. But a great basketball team will throw the ball to everyone. If a guy drops it or bobbles it out of bounds, the next time they’ll throw it to him again. And because of their confidence in him, he will have confidence. That’s how you grow.”* 

In other words, the onus is not only on the other player to show that he deserves trust but it’s incumbent on us to give it. We need to show our teammates that they are as deserving of that trust, as much as they need to show they deserve to have it.

That, to me, is a pretty profound point. We bear as much responsibility and if that trust doesn’t exist, we don’t get to just point fingers at others - we need to start with ourselves. 

Have we done enough to engender that confidence? Have we done what we need to in order to build that true sense of partnership? 

In too many situations, that’s not the case. We view trust as an expectation, a one way street (at least to start with). 

This is as much a problem, in my view, in our personal lives as it is in our professional ones. Whether it’s between us and our partners, or with our kids, or with our seniors, we need to ask the same question. Are we doing all we can to develop trust, or are we relying on our parents, our partners or our kids to do it first?

It seems to me that that’s where the problem begins. 

Trust has to begin with us.